Crumble and Custard and Other Puppy Tales Read online

  Contents

  Crumble and Custard

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Gus the Greedy Puppy

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Spot the Sporty Puppy

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Lily the Lost Puppy

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Felix the Fluffy Kitten and Other Kitten Tales

  Posh Pup and Other Puppy Stories

  Crumble and Custard

  Special thanks to Narinder Dhami

  Chapter One

  “Is Oliver coming yet?” Crumble whined. The Labrador puppy was trying to climb up onto the sofa. He was using his brother Custard as a stepping stone.

  “Get your paw out of my ear, Crumble!” Custard woofed crossly.

  “Help me get onto the sofa, then,” Crumble panted, trying to heave himself up. “I want to climb onto the window ledge and look for Oliver.”

  “What’s going on here?” a voice barked suddenly.

  Crumble was so surprised, he let go of the sofa and tumbled onto the floor. Luckily, Custard broke his fall.

  “What are you doing?” yapped Lady the spaniel, padding into the room.

  “I was trying to climb up onto the sofa to see if Oliver was coming,” Crumble woofed.

  “You know you’re not allowed on the sofa,” Lady replied sternly.

  “You’re a bad boy, Crumble!” Custard barked, giving his brother a teasing nip on the tail. Next moment they were rolling around on the carpet, play-fighting.

  “What are you two up to?” said Mrs James, popping her head round the door. Crumble and Custard belonged to Mrs James’s son, Oliver. But while he was at work they stayed with Mrs James and her old spaniel, Lady.

  “Nothing, Granny James!” Crumble and Custard barked together, putting on their best “cute” faces. Suddenly the ears of both puppies pricked up.

  “I can hear a motorbike!” Crumble woofed excitedly.

  “It’s Oliver,” Custard barked. “And I heard it first!”

  “No, I did,” Crumble yapped.

  Still arguing, the two pups rushed to the front door.

  A moment later, Oliver came in. Custard and Crumble went mad, jumping around his feet and barking loudly.

  “Hello, boys!” said Oliver, grinning. He took off his crash helmet and ran a hand through his fair hair. Then he scooped the pups up, one in each arm. “Have you been good today?”

  “I have,” Crumble yapped, licking his owner’s cheek. “But Custard ran off with Lady’s biscuit!”

  “Ooh, I did not!” Custard woofed back, nibbling Oliver’s ear. “Anyway, Granny James told Crumble off for chewing the rug!”

  “What have you been cooking today, Oliver?” Crumble pushed his nose into Oliver’s neck. Their owner was a chef, so he always smelled delicious. In fact, biscuit-coloured Crumble and pale yellow Custard were named after Oliver’s favourite pudding.

  The pups knew that Oliver went to people’s houses to cook food for them when they were having special parties. Crumble and Custard always thought it was most unfair that they weren’t allowed to go along too.

  “Hi, Mum,” Oliver said. “Thanks for looking after the Terrible Two.”

  “It’s a pleasure – sort of,” his mum laughed. “Now, you three, enjoy your weekend.”

  “We will,” Oliver promised.

  Crumble and Custard looked at each other in delight. So tomorrow was the weekend! That meant Oliver wouldn’t leave them and go to work. He’d stay at home and play!

  “Brilliant!” the two pups barked, their tails wagging happily.

  “Bye, Mum,” Oliver called as he carried Crumble and Custard over to his motorbike. “You have a good weekend too, and give my love to Gran.”

  “Lady and I will be back from Gran’s on Sunday night,” his mum replied. “So I’ll be here to look after the pups as usual on Monday morning.”

  Oliver’s motorbike had a sidecar which Crumble and Custard could ride in. They loved it. The sidecar had a cover attached, which meant that they were quite safe. It was clear, so that they could look out too.

  “OK, boys, let’s go,” Oliver said, popping the pups into the sidecar and closing it carefully.

  “A whole weekend with Oliver,” Crumble yapped happily as their owner revved up the motorbike engine.

  “Fantastic!” Custard agreed.

  At first, the weekend went just as Crumble and Custard had hoped.

  On Saturday morning they all had a lie-in. The puppies curled up in their favourite place next to Oliver. Then they all went down to the kitchen. First, Oliver fed Crumble and Custard their puppy food, then he got out the pancake pan to make his own breakfast.

  Crumble, who always finished eating first, snuffled around Oliver’s feet as he began to mix the pancake batter. “Yum!” he yapped. “Leave a bit of room for some pancake, Custard!”

  “Don’t worry, I will!” Custard snuffled back, as he finished off his puppy biscuits.

  Just then the phone rang. Oliver went into the hall to answer it. The puppies rushed after him.

  “Go away!” Crumble barked crossly as Oliver picked up the phone. “Oliver’s making pancakes.”

  “Yes, and you’re not having any, whoever you are,” Custard added.

  “Quiet, boys,” Oliver said sternly. “Hello?”

  “Maybe we should guard the pancake mix,” Custard growled. “Someone might come and steal it.”

  “Good idea,” Crumble agreed.

  The two pups trotted back to the kitchen.

  “You’re having an important lunch party today, and you want me to come and cook for you?” Oliver was saying.

  Crumble and Custard skidded to a halt outside the kitchen door when they heard that. Their tails stopped wagging. Oliver was going to work today? What about their lovely weekend?

  “Well, I can see it’s an emergency, Mrs Gill,” Oliver said. “But I can’t, I’m afraid.”

  The pups’ tails began to wag again, just a little.

  “I’ve got no one to look after my two puppies,” Oliver went on. “They usually stay with my mum while I’m working, but she’s away for the weekend. And I can’t leave them on their own because they destroy things.”

  “That’s because you chewed one of Oliver’s wooden spoons, Crumble!” Custard yapped.

  “Well, you ate half his rubber plant!” Crumble argued.

  “I suppose I could . . .” Oliver was saying. “But only if there’s somewhere safe for them to play while I’m working.”

  Crumble and Custard looked at each other. Did that mean what they thought it meant?

  “OK,” Oliver agreed, picking up a pen. “I’ll bring the pups with me then. If you could just give me the address . . .”

  “YES!” Crumble barked excitedly, running round in circles to celebrate. “Oliver’s taking us with him.”

  “Yippee!” woofed Custard. “We’re going with Oliver to cook party food. That’s much better than going to the park!”

  “Yes,” Crumble agreed. “It’s even better than a bit of pancake after breakfast!”

  Chapter Two

  “OK, boys, we’re here.” Oliver turned off the motor
bike engine. “Look at this posh house!”

  “It’s huge!” Crumble gasped.

  “Does the Queen live here?” asked Custard.

  The Gills’ house was at the end of a winding driveway. It had a large garden with a waterfall and lots of statues. Crumble and Custard could hardly wait to dive out of the sidecar and explore.

  “Now listen, you two,” Oliver said sternly. “I want you to be on your best behaviour. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, Oliver,” the pups woofed.

  Oliver clipped their leads onto their collars, and let them out. He led them over to the front door. But before he had a chance to ring the bell, the door flew open.

  A tall woman with black hair stood there, beaming at them. “Hello, I’m Mrs Gill,” she said. “Thank goodness you could help me out, Oliver. And aren’t your dogs gorgeous!”

  Crumble and Custard liked Mrs Gill already. They snuffled at her fingers as she gave them both a quick pat.

  “Come in,” said Mrs Gill. She hurried them across a beautiful hallway with thick rugs and a sweeping staircase, then into a huge kitchen. “Like I told you on the phone, my usual chef has flu, and you can see what a mess we’re in.”

  Crumble and Custard’s eyes nearly popped out of their heads. They’d never seen so much food! There were containers and packets on all the worktops, as well as bags and boxes of colourful fruit and vegetables.

  “How many guests did you say were coming to the party, Mrs Gill?” Oliver asked, looking just as dazed as the puppies.

  “Oh, only twenty,” Mrs Gill replied. “But my daughter Yasmin is having a birthday party in two days’ time. That’s why there’s so much food.” She waved a hand around the kitchen. “Use whatever you like. There’s a joint of beef for the main course, but the starters and pudding are up to you.”

  “OK,” Oliver agreed.

  “The guests will be arriving at about two o’clock,” Mrs Gill went on. “Come and see the dining room.” She led them all out of the kitchen and into the big room next door.

  It had a long wooden table that was laid with sparkling plates and cutlery, and huge bowls of flowers. Two large French windows stood open at the far end of the room, leading out into the garden.

  Crumble and Custard both sniffed the air, their black noses twitching. There were loads of exciting new smells to explore!

  A man wearing shorts and a T-shirt hurried from the garden, into the room.

  “This is my husband,” said Mrs Gill. “Darling, say hello to Oliver, our new chef.”

  Smiling, Mr Gill came across the room. “Thanks for coming to our rescue like this,” he began. Then he spotted Crumble and Custard, and stopped in his tracks. “Oh no! Keep those dogs away from me!”

  “Don’t worry,” Oliver said quickly, “they’re very friendly.”

  “Oh, no, it’s not that,” Mr Gill muttered. He began to sneeze loudly. “A-tishoo!”

  “Oh, I forgot about your allergy!” said Mrs Gill. “You’d better go upstairs, darling.”

  Still sneezing, Mr Gill hurried over to the door, keeping as far away from the two puppies as he could.

  “What’s the matter with him?” Crumble asked. Mr Gill hadn’t even given them a pat.

  “Maybe he’s got a cold,” Custard suggested. “Remember when Oliver had one? He kept sneezing all the time.”

  “The puppies should be quite safe in the garden,” Mrs Gill went on. “My daughter Yasmin’s out there somewhere. She’ll love them.”

  Oliver nodded. “I’ll just get them settled, and then I’ll start work.”

  “Super,” said Mrs Gill. “Oh, excuse me.” And she dashed off to answer the phone.

  “Come on, Oliver,” Crumble and Custard woofed together. They began to drag him towards the garden. “Let’s go and explore.”

  Chapter Three

  “Please let us off our leads, Oliver!” Crumble snuffled, as they walked through the enormous garden.

  “Grr!” Custard grabbed his lead between his teeth and shook it crossly from side to side. “Let me go, Oliver!”

  “Stop it, you two,” Oliver scolded, unclipping their leads as they walked across the lawn. “I just wanted to check that there’s no way for you to get out of the garden.”

  “Look, Custard.” Crumble had spotted something interesting.

  “Where?” Custard woofed.

  “There!” Crumble barked impatiently. “That must be Yasmin.”

  A girl with long black hair was lying on the grass ahead of them. She was reading a book.

  Her eyes lit up at the sight of the two puppies. “Hi, I’m Yasmin,” she called to Oliver. “Are you the chef?”

  “Yeah, I’m Oliver, and this is Crumble and Custard,” Oliver replied.

  “I’m Crumble,” Crumble panted. “Stroke me first!”

  “I’m Custard,” Custard yapped. “Stroke me first!”

  Yasmin laughed. She bent down and put an arm round each puppy. “They’re so cute,” she cried. “Do you want me to look after them while you’re working?”

  “Oh, thanks!” Oliver said gratefully. “Sure you don’t mind?”

  Yasmin shook her head. “No, I love dogs.”

  “Great!” Crumble and Custard barked together.

  “You two behave yourselves, then,” Oliver said. He scratched the puppies’ heads affectionately and handed their leads to Yasmin. “See you later.”

  “Look at me, Yasmin,” Crumble woofed as Oliver hurried off. “I can roll over!” And he lay on the grass and rolled about, showing his fat tummy.

  “No, look at me, Yasmin,” Custard boasted. “I can catch my tail!” And he started running round in circles.

  Yasmin grinned. “You’re both lovely!” she said, kissing the tops of their heads.

  Crumble and Custard had a brilliant time. They played Chase-the-Twig and Hide-and-Seek. And whenever the pups got out of breath, Yasmin picked them up and gave them lots of cuddles.

  “Let’s go inside and have a drink,” Yasmin suggested as they all lay panting on the grass after playing Tag. “And we can see how Oliver’s getting on too.”

  As they got near the house, Crumble and Custard’s noses began to twitch like mad. There were some delicious smells coming from the kitchen. They both began to feel very hungry as well as thirsty.

  Oliver was spooning crumble over some apples in a large dish. His face was red because the kitchen was hot. But apart from that, he looked very calm and organised.

  “I’m just going to get some water for the puppies, Oliver,” Yasmin told him.

  Oliver smiled at her. “Thanks,” he said.

  He grinned at Crumble and Custard. “Have you been good, boys?”

  “Course we have,” Crumble yapped proudly.

  “Everything smells great, Oliver,” Yasmin said shyly. She filled a bowl from the cold tap, then put it down on the floor. “How are you getting on?” she asked, as Crumble and Custard lapped at their water.

  “Well, I’ve made the starters, and they’re already in the dining room,” Oliver said. “And I’m just finishing the pud. Then I’ll put the beef in the oven. All I have to do then is chop the veggies and make salads.”

  “I can’t wait to try it all,” Yasmin grinned. Then she frowned as the sound of a car came through the open window. “I wonder who that is?”

  “Well, as long as it’s not the guests,” Oliver laughed.

  Yasmin went out into the hallway to have a look, and the puppies trotted after her.

  “Wheeee!” Custard barked as he skidded on the polished floor. “This is fun, Crumble!”

  Crumble tried to run after his brother, and slid along the floor too. “Let’s see how far we can slide!” he yapped.

  Yasmin stared out of the hall window. A big car was pulling up outside the house, and another was just turning in through the gates. “Oh no!” she cried. “It is the guests – and it’s only twelve o’clock! They’re two hours early!”

  Chapter Four

  Crumble and Cust
ard scrambled to a halt, mid-slide.

  “The guests are here?” Crumble woofed. “They can’t be.”

  “Go away,” Custard growled. “Oliver’s not ready yet.”

  Yasmin grabbed the pups and dashed back to the kitchen.

  “Oliver!” she gasped. “The guests are here!”

  “What?” Oliver was pouring custard into a jug. He was so surprised, he dripped some on the floor.

  “Oh, yum,” yapped Crumble and Custard, clambering out of Yasmin’s arms to clean it up.

  “See how helpful we are?” snuffled Crumble.

  “What are we going to do?” Yasmin wailed. “Mum and Dad must have told them the wrong time.”

  Oliver looked at the large joint of beef. “Oh, no,” he groaned. “The beef will never be ready in time. It will take hours to cook.”

  “Don’t worry, Oliver,” Crumble barked. “If we don’t open the door, they’ll all go away!”

  “I’d better go and tell Mum and Dad,” Yasmin said. She raced upstairs with the puppies at her heels. “Mum!” she yelled, running into her parents’ bedroom. “The guests are here!”

  “What!” Mrs Gill rushed out of the bathroom. She was wearing her dressing gown, and she had a creamy facepack all over her face.

  “Help!” Crumble barked. “Mrs Gill’s face has turned green!”

  “I’m scared,” Custard whined, and tried to crawl under the bed.

  “I don’t believe it,” Mrs Gill cried. “Will Oliver be able to serve lunch early?”

  Yasmin shook her head. “He said that the beef isn’t even in yet, and it will take hours to cook.”

  Just then the doorbell rang. Mrs Gill groaned.

  “Who’s that at the door?” Mr Gill came into the bedroom.

  “It’s the guests, Dad,” Yasmin said urgently. “They’re early.”

  “What?” Her dad glanced down at his shorts and T-shirt. “But I’m not even dressed yet – a-tishoo! Will somebody please take those dogs downstairs!”

  “Show the guests into the sitting room, Yasmin,” Mrs Gill said. She wiped her face with a tissue. “Offer them drinks and tell them we’ll be down as soon as we can. Then tell Oliver to put the beef in the freezer and use the chicken drumsticks out of the fridge. They’ll cook much more quickly. We can buy some more tomorrow for your birthday party.”